Author’s note: In this poem, I sought to explore Jakarta as a place of the past that has inherited a history of colonial occupation and violence. Through a semi-autobiographical account of my father’s and grandfather’s encounter with a policeman, and expounding on my grandfather’s experiences in Indonesia’s Independence War, I seek to humanize the casualties of war, and emphasize the comparative vastness of war’s lingering grief and the bittersweetness of young, interrupted lives and parting.
* * *
Parking at the graveyard in their beat-up Nissan,
my grandfather reminds my dad to buy rosewater.
In Jakarta, leaves constantly litter the ground—
it’s always fall wherever you go, these little Nirvanas.
Tossing his cigarette, a cop gets up from a low squat
on the curb and raps the window. This is the part
where dad says, in Jakarta, you must pay the officers
handsomely for existing. This is why God has left
the city. Upon furiously explaining to the officer
that he was a veteran of the Independence War,
my grandfather blows a wad of spit. Blubbering,
the officer scampers off. They stop at a stall for
rosewater, before leaving for the cramped
headstones, saying Salam all the while.
Some of the graves hoist red-and-white flags
on bamboo sticks. On one such grave
my grandfather kneels. He pours
rosewater over the headstone, as is
our custom. Decades ago, this grave was a tall, gangly
boy desperately holding onto a bamboo stick as they
ran across the fields like loud, agitated dragonflies.
Gunfire as summer thunder. For my grandfather,
char’s the only token from his childhood home. And
nights spent lying in the mud, the marsh, the forest.
A few words and prayers—a kiss left delicately
on the headstone. Evening makes tall shadows
of us all. This grave’s shadow runs off into the stars.
Father and son walk past lives large and small. Salam.
Attar Topobroto
Attar Topobroto’s poetry is published in 34 Orchard, Passionfruit Review, and other journals. He is a finalist of the Dan Veach Poetry Prize for Younger Poets awarded by Atlanta Review, and his fiction was recently longlisted for the Hope Prize from Simon and Schuster. His first book is forthcoming from Kepustakaan Populer Gramedia (KPG), an imprint of Gramedia, Indonesia’s leading publisher.
